Poetry

Life.

2007-07-02T17:25:00.000-05:00

What lies around the corner
never seems to come
the distance increases
becomming further away,
like a horse running in circles
going nowhere.

I'd go anywhere.
to get out of this hell.
To end the pain,
would be the greatest gift anyone could give me.
But no one seems to understand,
how I feel,
about life,
love.
everything.

Why don't they understand?
Am I just that strange?
Stupid? Insane?
Why must I suffer, when everyone else
looks as if they are having the time
of their lives.

The clover.

2006-05-22T10:40:00.000-05:00

Different, like a clover
with four leaves.
not three, as all the others
usually have.

Different, yet the same.
Blended in like a
person in a crowd.

I am that clover
different, yet the same
in so many ways

Treated differently
the "lucky" find
people search for
clovers all day
while I'm here
still searching for
myself.

Will I find me?
Will You search for me?

I am the clover; where are the eyes?

This Girl.

2006-05-18T22:30:00.001-05:00

The girl
withered in soul
body, spirit.
Loved by
no one, not even
herself.
She has thoughts
about death, murder,
and suicide. Maybe
she is crazy, Maybe she
is the only sane person
on earth.
Will we be able to tell?
She tells herself that she is okay
her emotional scars
tell otherwise.
Would looking in her room help?
How would that help anyone?
Will she survive
in this hell
that we all call home?

I guess we will wait to find out.

Alone

2006-03-20T20:07:00.000-05:00

No one to love
no one to hold
does it matter anymore?

Does anyone care?
Does anyone see?
all this pain is building
up. Inside of me.
ready to explode. to errupt.

like a volcano.
A little warning, but is it enough?
for you to stop it?
for you to be there?

I need friends
I need a hug.
One of those hugs
when you can just feel
that someone cares.

Does someone care?

I guess I'll never know.

Bitter Blades

2006-03-20T20:05:00.000-05:00

The razor cuts, digs
deep into the flesh
to let the blood drip,
drip down the arm.
erasing the pain
or does the pain just hide?

Hide for a while, but it
always will come back.
the razor is at it again
wont somebody stop it?
before it's too late...

The scars are hidden
the pain is still there
It will never fully dissappear...
or will it?
Can it?
Should it be that easy?

A Lonely Day

2006-03-20T20:00:00.000-05:00

A lonely day
a walk in the park
no one around
to see. to hear.

A lonely day
with the kids at school
everyone around
to ignore.

A lonely day
a day in my bed
with racing thoughts
and to no one I share

A lonely day
alone in a crowd
Impossible? maybe
but not for me.

Those lonely days
happen more than not
Somebody talk to me.
And show me that I'm not alone

I am alone

2006-03-15T22:59:00.000-05:00

Why does this happen?
Am I just wrong?
I hate being ignored.
Left, to die, like an abandoned puppy.

I thought I was
a nice, caring friend.
But I guess I'm not.
I should just give up.

On friends, on love.
Hell, why not life?
Yes, I give people hugs.
But will I ever receive one?

No, because I am invisible.
I don't exist. Not to anyone anymore.
I should just dissappear.
Like a balloon into the clouds.

It would be for the best.
No one cares anymore.
I am alone...

A Dreamer's Nightmare

2006-02-24T21:35:00.000-05:00

A Dreamer’s Nightmare

A tale of a dream that must be told,

A dream of a child, that was barely thirteen years old.

A tornado was coming, with no time to spare.

No time to grab anything, no time to despair.

I was at home, alone with my flashlight.

As I settled in my closet on that dark, scary night.

The wind picked up, at a miserable pace.

I could feel the ground trembling, I was ready to brace.

But not ready for what was about to come,

No one would be ready, except the wisest some.

I heard windows crash, and cars crashing,

The yells of helpless people, and items smashing.

When it all stopped, not a moment too soon.

Until it arose again, like the tide by the moon.

This time more violent, more deadly to me,

If only I could see, what was about to be.

My closet door came open, to the outside air,

And the wind was picking up, streaming through my hair.

And something happened, the wind became strong,

And I was taken into the air, like the lyrics of a song.

The wind became faster, objects flying about,

When I realized what was happening and began to scream and shout.

But no one could hear me, or feel my heart race.

Then I was thrown into a window, glass hitting my face.

The glass gave a cut, not very deep,

But it was still enough blood, to give someone the creeps.

And then it again stopped, but this time for good.

No one could see me, and no one ever would.

And then I awoke, from a short nights sleep,

Breathing hard, panting, like a dog chasing sheep.

And I walked to my mirror, and to my surprise,

I had a small wound, between my two eyes.

I reassured myself that it was only a dream,

And no matter how real it may seem,

It was only a dream… or was it?

Visions

2005-12-09T11:55:00.000-05:00

I have these visions.
sitting through the day.
of a gunshot, blood, a cadaver that lay.
That cadaver is me. I see myself dead.
at this day in time, a gun to my head.
My body lays, for the funeral march.
peaple are happy, people cheer.
I guess most are glad, that I'm no longer here.
If this truely happens, and I should be dead.
People willbe cheering and laughing,
'till their faces turn red.

What?

2005-12-09T10:03:00.000-05:00

What goes through your mind
when you're going to die?
are you tensed? relaxed?
do you cry?

What goes through your mind
when you're forced to live
through pain, suffering, and hell?

What does it feel like to be happy?
Really happy.
not just a laugh at a joke.

What doe you care about most?
In life? In dreams?
In everything.

What. What. What?

Untitled

2005-12-06T16:51:00.000-05:00

What do you do?
When you can't do anymore
When life has no meaning
but to eat, sleep, and slam doors.

No one cares. So one sees.
but me.
you say you love,
but you don't.
love isn't around.
So what is the purpose of life?
There is no purpose.

Untitled

2005-11-30T14:00:00.000-05:00

My life is in pieces,
shattered like glass.
Time flies by,
or suddenly stops.

The wilted rose,
that sits on the corner.
Resembles my heart,
slowly fading way.

What is love?
nothing seems to exist.
Love isn't real.
and "Love" will die.

No one notices
when I'm depressed.
no one cares
how I feel.

You think You know me,
but you really don't.
I might hurt myself sometimes,
but you don't need to care.

Perfect

2005-11-05T22:37:00.000-05:00

Why does this happen?
I try to be nice
a good daughter

I try to love
shouldn't that be enough
You care about yourself
never about me.
Its always my fault
you are perfect
You are a god
Only screams and demands
never a sweet nice voice
you don't love me
you never have
never will

We can't both survive
in this one world
its much too small
even for you alone.

So who is it going to be?
One of us must die.

And it looks like you're picking me

Things that taste good.

2005-11-03T16:33:00.001-05:00

Sweet tea
Pickles
Ramen
Fruit
Bananas dipped in chocolate
peanut butter
toast with butter
bagels with lox
Halloween candy
Romaine lettuce
Tofu in garlic
Cold pizza
Those green things in my soup
Just don’t make me eat them all

Can You imagine?

2005-11-03T16:33:00.000-05:00

What life would be like

Without your family, home, and favourite bike

Living alone with no where to go

Sleeping outside through rain, sleet, and snow

How thin you would be

Without food, being hungry

Searching for scraps in the trash

Begging pedestrians for a little cash

A home on the streets

Shivering cold and wearing someone’s old baseball cleats

Finding a job, at such a young age

Getting the job paying minimum wage

The Source of redness

2005-11-03T16:31:00.000-05:00

Someone’s freezing toes

The dry hot sun burning a nose

A bloody cut from a fight

A deathly car wreck that happened last night

Tears of sorrow

The hate of tomorrow

I am

2005-08-31T15:36:00.000-05:00

I am a lonely girl with a broken soul

I wonder why life is so hard

I hear the constant screaming in my house

I see people who are full of hope

I am a lonely girl with a broken soul

I pretend to be happy

I feel the pain in my heart

I touch my cat when I need a hug

I worry I won’t live to be eighteen

I cry over the littlest things

I am a lonely girl with a broken soul

I understand little

I say that I’m okay

I dream that life will get better

I try to laugh

I hope I can find meaning

I am a lonely girl with a broken soul

The place

2005-06-23T20:07:00.000-05:00

Something is there,
Down deep in my heart
burried
under layers and layers of
hurt and anger

Its a place where
things are okay and
everyone is happy
but this place
is lost and may never
be found again

To find this place
dig deep into my heart
past the memories
through the tears
and under the rage

This place has been waiting
for years
for someone to rediscover it
But Its hard to say
wheather this place
Is like it was before

There is only one way
to get to this place.
Do you know how?

2005-06-19T00:07:00.000-05:00

Look into these eyes
andtell me what you see
wheather you see happiness
or not
depends on what you look for
it dosent matter what you chose
because you would be the firstto look,
to care, to love

Days go by
when I’m wearing this mask
while inside im drowning in my own tears
can’t anyone send a lifesaver

That’s okay
let me drown
i’m sure you will be happier than
having me cry, whine, and pour my heart out
to you

no one cares.

2005-05-15T15:15:00.000-05:00

No one notices
where there's tears
streaming, pouring,
down my cheeks.

No one cares,
when my eyes are so red.
I look stoned,
only I wish I was.

No one sees
how hard I try.
to smile and make,
everything look okay.

LOOK AT ME!

2005-03-07T16:13:00.000-05:00

Look at me.
Can you believe?
the happy girl you once knew,
wipes tears on her sleeves.

Look at me.
Can't you see?
Something has changed,
from how I used to be.

Look at me.
Has it come true?
I seem so different,
when I talk to you.

Look at me
can it be?
that no one is out there,
as lonely as me.

Why don't you just look at me?

blank.

2005-03-03T16:35:00.000-05:00

The thought of death
scary to some
but to others, it can
be a feeling of hope, release, and relief
I dont care
what you may say
just leave me alone
day after day i try to fit in
nothing works
maybe i should just give in to my fears
If i die, people will be sad
some will be happy, others wont pay attention
most will be happy im out of their hair
So with watery eyes
and nowhere to go

Im alone in the darkness of my heart
who can possibly turn on the light?

What the hell happened?

2005-02-15T16:10:00.000-05:00

What the hell happened?
where did I go wrong?
was it me going away,
or you listening to a song?

What we had was special,
or thats what it seamed to me.
it ended all so quickly,
the pain stung like a bee.

I still don't understand,
it all is like a blur.
All I know is you are gone,
and went crawling back to her.

I told you this would happen.
that the love wasn't true.
But you diddn't listen to me,
and now I don't know what to do.

The day you picked to tell me,
the day you broke my heart.
So I could suffer on valentines,
hun, that wasn't very smart.

This is what you want?
she already left you before.
If it is to happen again,
don't come knocking on MY door.

Untitled

2005-02-11T16:07:00.000-05:00

Walking along
an old beaten path
wondering who has come before you
where does it lead?
how far does it go?
when will it end?
footprints to follow

As the sun sets
the moon leads your path
as you walk on and on
the wind blows harder and harder.
the trees are waving in the wind
ROCKS ARE FLYING EVERYWHER.
and it NEVER. EVER. ENDS

untitled

2005-02-11T16:03:00.000-05:00

She sits alone
as a wilted rose
lonely with nowhere to go.
she could be happy, she could be sad.
but no one will ever know.
What is she thinking?
is it something bad?
someone must love her
and be her friend.
or else
what
can
she
do?

The Place

2005-02-07T15:59:00.000-05:00

An old picture
sits in her hand
as she dreams away
of a far away land.

In the land there are people,
of all shapes and sizes.
everyone is happy,
with hidden surprizes.

But life isn't like that,
and this girl knows.
But she takes this place with her,
wherever she goes.

As she thinks of this place,
she sits for a while.
pondering with her mind,
she may even break a smile

I am not a book.

2005-02-03T15:54:00.000-05:00

You act as I'm a book,
just open up and read.
Nothing hurts my feelings,
and there is nothing I may need.

Well I have news for you,
my life is not like that.
I do all my work,
and waiting there you sat.

How can we be friends?
you only pick my brain.
I'm so easy to take advante of,
through the sun or through the rain.

Things are going to change now,
and there is nothing you can do.
so get used to it,
and start something new.

Many people say,
not to let it get to me.
But how can I not?
when you copy everything you see.

The stress keeps on building,
in many different ways.
I don't know how long I can last.
a year? a month? or even seven days.

I know this won't change a thing,
but at least it helps me.
writing like this is hard to do,
expressive is hard to be.

You make Me

2005-01-18T15:46:00.000-05:00

You make my eyes twinkle,

ans the stars do through the night.

You make my heart sing,

which tells me this is right.

When you talk to me,

I almost lose my mind.

Because a man like you,

is very hard to find.

You care for me so much,

so much its hard to say.

I know for me it is the same,

and I tell you everyday.

Its hard to keep a secret,

these feelings are inside.

I can always wait so long,

though true love is hard to find.

I'm so glad to have you,

you're a very lucky find.

As I see it every day,

you are truely one-of-a-kind.